When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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