All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
