he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
