I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm bleeding and have questions
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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