I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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