Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
