So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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