I look better un-naked...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My pussy is not your playground.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
