Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
two words...techno handjob
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
