I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
