I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
