We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think my moral compass just broke
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
