I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize