In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
