Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
