the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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