So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she smelled like a LAN party
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
