i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize