My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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