I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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