NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize