hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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