we made out on top of his cat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Panties = found
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