is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
