My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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