The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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