my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
