i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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