Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
