whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We have started to decorate penises.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
