I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
