Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
