3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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