Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
where are my eyebrows?
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