You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
