Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
