Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
