i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
