"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize