Whatcha textin bout Willis?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
