My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
