I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
