So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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