I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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