just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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