Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize