He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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