i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
