I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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