omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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