Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
