what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When are your genitals available?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
