Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
