D3 body, D1 cock
Will you blow on my dice?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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