wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
