Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
