i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
