I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
