Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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