so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
