bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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