I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
