once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
