I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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