The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize