Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
