She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
