Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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