no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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