he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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