Quick, to the slutcave!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
